Hi there my fellow Canadians. You may have noticed that Donald Trump’s been on a bit of a social media rampage today demanding investigations into various Democrat politicians who’ve lied about meeting important Russians. You probably think his behaviour is undignified, unpresidential, unhinged and definitely unCanadian. You’re wrong.
Let me put it to you in terms you can understand – Hockey. It’s really simple you see. Donald Trump is Gino Odjick. No, he’s not LITERALLY Gino Odjick, but they could be soulmates. Yes really.
Vancouver Canucks fans get what I’m talking about. Even Oilers and Flames probably have some clue since they’re in the same division as us. But if you’re from farther east then you have to watch the first couple of minute or so of this video as Gino fights FOUR St Louis Blues in quick succession and then you’ll totally understand (except perhaps Mapleleaf fans because this video probably has TOO MUCH WINNING for you)
This video shows why Gino Odjick may be the most beloved Vancouver Canuck ever. He totally understands that the best defence is a good offence – especially when your team is down 8 to 2 in a playoff game. He doesn’t care about the odds – one player, four players, doesn’t matter. And he’s loving every minute of it – he’s visibly grinning as he walks off the ice. He understands what both his teammates and Vancouver fans need.
Republican voters are tired of losing (kinda like Mapleleafs fans). They’re tired of their representatives in Washington behaving liked abused spouses every time the Democrats and their allies in the media accuse them of doing nasty things and call them bad names. They want someone who will fight back when his teammates are getting cross-checked from behind. And now they’ve got their own Gino Odjick on the ice. He’s scoring goals and taking names. Chuck Schumer thinks he can demand the resignation of the Attorney General over nothing. Gloves are off. You can probably hear the chant GI-NO, GI-NO, GI-NO echoing across Middle America right now.
PS: To my British friends, if you’re feeling left out it’s not my fault your favourite sport is full of mincing nancy-boys who roll around clutching their shin in mock agony if someone glances at them the wrong way.